I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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