im drinking this country out of the recession.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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