i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
All the doctor said was why
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
