ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
