What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
wow bdsm is so cute
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