Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
