Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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