Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
