If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
