I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
