I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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