did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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