we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
