sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
