Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
