Christians are straight up FREAKS
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
