Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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