apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
