still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
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Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
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Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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