He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize