Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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