wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
