Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
