You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
