my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
