i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Come share oat with me in your robe
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
