the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
