would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's never too late to be topless.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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