Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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