I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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