last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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