My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
