so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
