The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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