I'm drive I can fine osifer
there's paper in my vomit.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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