why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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