oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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