you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
