he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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