It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
