Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
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we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
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Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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