Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
