If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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