Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
