I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
