love makes seman taste better
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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