Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
