Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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