your room smells of hookers.
And success
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
