i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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