We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
