So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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