By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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