so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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