Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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