I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
