How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
