So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
