If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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