it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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