Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
