So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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