i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize