Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
