lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I wish I only lived at night.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
