Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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