my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
