i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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