My room smells like vodka and shame
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
