So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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